Who am I?

Who am I, who have I become? These questions have dawned on me after a very disturbing incident with a couple of elderly women. You’re asking yourself, what could have happened? Well what I’m about to tell you may shock you to your core. Maybe incident is too harsh a word. But this morning I recalled a conversation or even a debate I had with my wife and her 2 aunties last night that I was quite vocal about with some cleverly thought arguments. But what was this topic debated last night that now has me questioning myself and my life’s direction. Are you ready for it?..... “The Aaahh Bra”. I know OMG, WTF, ROFL, right? But you should of heard me, I was all up in their faces with “Say good bye to pinching, binding and chafing” and then hit with some “Who doesn’t want to get rid of bra bulging and under arm cleavage?” and then the knockout blow “It fits perfectly even if you gain or lose weight, break through technology etc”. Take that right? Woah hang on, how come I know all this stuff? Am I gay? I enjoy manly pursuits, I’m good on a shovel, and I’ll try and fix the car myself. Then I remembered that girl on the aaahh bra ad is smoking hot and I often say I wonder what that aaahh bra would look like on my bedroom floor. That last statement shouldn’t get me in trouble with my wife because the girl in the ad actually wears 2 aahh bra’s over the top of each other so she’ll still have one on. You see with the aaahh bra , they are so comfortable you can wear 2 bras and wear it as a crop top for the gym. Ohh No! I’ve done it again haven’t I?

Anyway not gay, Check.

So what’s happening to me? I’m now getting flashbacks like an episode of CSI. I remember tearing up when Jack Vidgen belted out Whitney Houston for the first time. I was upset about the people being unfair on My Kitchen Rules. I watch My Kitchen Rules.  I cook I clean, there’s no way you can get me to wash my whites in with my colours. Watching a romantic comedy at the movies is more appealing than a gritty thriller. Maybe this isn’t a bad thing; maybe I’ve become some sort of man/woman hybrid that can do it all. I cook, clean, make lunches, clean the pool, and build a fence. I’m a better me than before. I’m a domestic superhero of sorts. Maybe I could be “The Clean Lantern” or  “Supperman”. Too far? I’m worried.

To all my male friends who are having a laugh at me, you all knew what I was talking about when I mentioned the aaahh bra so take a look at yourself and If you want to ring me up and have a dig at me, for the first fifty callers there will be an extra bonus offer. Oh no, ive done it again.

I can’t wait for the football season to start.